Quickies: All Aboard

Lesbian scissor holds have really paid off in spades for Lindsay Lohan’s abs! (The Grumpiest)

Get Smart is the cinematic equivalent of the missionary position with an old friend on a break between girlfriends. (Pajiba)

What would you get if Bigfoot lost 12 pounds and put on a skanky dress? Khloe Kardashian, of course! (Websters)

Fergie looks like she just got off the lunch shift at Denny’s. (Celebrity Smack)

Rihanna fills in as conductor on the Polar Express! (Allie is Wired)

According to Jesus, Rachel Bilson’s tight new body came courtesy a wicked coke habit. (Drunken Stepfather)

Keira Knightley officially ten pounds away from death from malnutrition. (The Blemish)

More gratuitous David Beckham pictures — because girls like to ogle, too. (popbytes)

Those NSFW safe sex posters are strangely arousing. (Robotzilla)

DISCLAIMER: This posting was submitted by a user of the site not from The Insider editorial staff. All users have acknowledged and agreed that the submission of their story and its contents is in compliance with our Terms of Use.