EvilBeet

Hard to believe it’s that time of the month again, but like breaking open a new pack of Yaz, it’s time for March’s installment of Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox broke up. I don’t really have the energy to come with a new and creative way to spoon this information out to...

Pay attention beyotches!  Mischa Barton is opening up-and no, not her legs this time.  She is back in the media, sharing her wisdom-yet again.  Will there ever be a day when we won’t have to be victim to her wisdom?  The answer is “No!” Mischa is just so...

Get it?  Do you get it?  I’m saying everything twice because Julia’s movie, Duplicity, tanked on its opening weekend.  Sigh…I make me laugh. Here’s the deal:  Duplicity is probably a pretty good movie; it pulled in $14.4M.  But it’s where...

OMG you guys I was SO WORRIED about Miley and Mandy. After Miley declared Taylor Swift to be her best friend at the VMAs, and she kept making YouTube videos with her boyfriend and her sister and seemingly EVERYONE but Mandy, I thought this friendship for the ages was kaput. My heart was broken....

Ashton Kutcher tweeted his wife’s ass on Twitter.  That makes him a twat, right?  It would make him an ex-husband if he were married to me, but I’ve never been tolerant of men who refer to their spouses as “wifey” anyway.  Ah, that pesky Nikon celebrity...

People reports that Today show host Matt Lauer had a little run-in this weekend with a deer.  Apparently Matt was riding his Schwinn, I don’t really know that he was riding a Schwinn but it sounds like “schwing” and I always feel that when Matt is around, and hit a deer....

Yep, our favorite mono-legged vegan has crawled into bed with Burger King as spokesperson to promote their new vegetarian burger.  In exchange for services provided, BK is leaving $6M on the ethical (as long as ethics don’t include taking money from burger-flinging fast food chains)...

Good morning and Happy Monday!  Did you guys enjoy Evil Beet’s new writer Kelly as much as I did?  She had me laughing all weekend and I wished Monday would never come.  As a matter of fact, I looked in the mirror this morning and sighed, “Ah, you again?” ...

Dancing With the Stars “contender” Steve Wozniak might not get many more opportunities to wear sequins and tassels… at least not outside the bedroom. Woz, who was already handicapped by a broken left foot bone, pulled his hamstring at rehearsal on Friday. It’s not looking...

Sunday’s Monsters vs Aliens premiere was a veritable who’s who of people you’re not supposed to be attracted to, but probably are. There were a few who walked the red (or rather, blue) carpet that would be considered mainstream-acceptably hot (Kiefer Sutherland, Paul Rudd, Reese...

Alex likes the whores After I mentioned that I’m a sports fan, someone requested more gossip on sports celebrities, specifically hockey players. But until Sean Avery s up again, or puts out another video of him shopping for womens’ handbags, you’ll just have to satiate yourself by...

Just in case you missed it, Rihanna was out and about earlier this week in Hollywood, sans sunglasses and bruises and she looks great. It must feel good to finally be able to take the sunglasses off. Let’s just hope it’s a metaphor for the larger situation, and better night vision...

Madonna, wearing her front lawn and grabbing Rihanna's ass, cuz that's how she rolls. Madonna has reportedly called it quits with Brazillian model and sometimes boyfriend Jesus Luz. Apparently she’d been considereing ending the fling for some time because she was afraid it might affect her...

Bruce Willis and girlfriend Emma Hemming got hitched Saturday morning in a small ceremony held at Bruce’s home in the Carribean Islands of Turks & Caicos, proving that divorcing Demi Moore may not have been the stupidest move he could have ever made. With his marriage to Hemming, both...

Insert obligatory joke about his oldness and her weight. There are times when you think someone famous has died. Then they show up on some late night talk show and turn your entire worldview on its head with their disturbing refusal to die. I’m not naming names, but Martin Landau, I’m...

Those numbers on his arm count down how much time is left in his 15 minutes I thought I’d share with you this picture of Ja Rule drinking antifreeze. Don’t knock it till you try it. As cats and babies will tell you, that is delicious. Today I thought we’d answer the age old...

I apologize in advance for busting in amidst Kelly’s debut weekend — which she is handling brilliantly — but I happen to be awake at 3 am to receive this breaking and very sad news: British reality TV star Jane Goody has finally lost her battle with cervical cancer. She died, at...

Beverly Hills Boutique Kitson hosted a Twilight DVD and apparel launch party this Saturday, with stars of the movie in attendance. Robert Pattinson couldn’t be there because he’s too busy writing terrible poetry and desperately hitting on ladies via Twitter. Not really. Although he ...

If you unfocus your eyes & stare at her dress long enough, a 3D image of dolphins jumping over the rings of Saturn will emerge. As Wendie reported a few weeks ago in  a post appropriately titled “Why Do Celebrities Hate Their Babies?” it was widely rumored that M.I.A. had named...

Portia De Rossi publicly apologizes for marrying Ellen DeGeneres: Thanks to Wendie for the heads up on that one. I still think it’s sweet that they chose to share each others’ last names. You know, “De”?

Give Leann Rimes’ rep the award for most ridiculous press statement that doesn’t actually address the major issue at hand. Rime’s rep released the following statement to US Magazine in response to allegations of homosexuality that were lobbed at Rime’s husband, Dean...

Leave it to New Yorkers to honk at a departing hearse. Saturday morning, a mahogany casket bearing the body of actress Natasha Richardson left the New York Townhouse where her wake had been held. Funeral arrangements have yet to be made, but they’re probably taking her to the funeral home....

Roberts on David Letterman, March 17th Earlier in the week, Evil Beet posted some pics of Julia Roberts with what looked like strands of pinko hair peeking through her blonde layers. Sorry to disappoint those of you who thought it was a midlife crisis or a show of support for Breast Cancer...